Hold Me Fast



Excerpts from Hold Me Fast

“You know how you can say something and it was a mistake? You say something out loud that’s not right and you say you’re sorry and start over. Maybe you don’t remember what you wrote in your letter. You wrote it when you were upset. I’m not saying you made a mistake. I don’t expect to be forgiven. You can do things with words, change them or say more words, but I can’t do that, can I? I can’t take back what I did.”

“COVERED BRIDGE” from “HOLD ME FAST” performed by Garrett Soucy.

“It was always love with you, especially in the beginning. I told him that. It used to make me soft inside when you called my name. I told him that too. It was getting dark out. He asked me if I wanted to see this special place. I had to trust him, he said. We walked down a path and there was this covered bridge. It was beautiful. The road was closed and grown over, and the bridge sits there surrounded by pine trees. The stream below it makes a soft sound like a breeze. We could see through the cracks in the floor, and there were stars reflected in the black water sparkling there, as if the sky was below us. We sat down, leaned our backs against the worn wood and he said, finish it.”

“COVERED BRIDGE” from “HOLD ME FAST” performed by Siiri Soucy

“First time I saw you at the Y, you brought the boys team in for practice. I was late getting out of the water. It was one of the times after work when I needed to get into the water and get the peace and quiet. When I finished my laps, you were there with the team. It just happened.

It was November, chilly in here that day. They were standing around you with their arms cross their chests. Some of them were shaking from the cold. Perfect boys with their thin bodies and wet hair.

 

So here it is, Frank. Sorry if this hurts you. I thought you seemed like a good guy, but it was the boys I was interested in. Not you. I was attracted to the boys.”

“ACCIDENT WITH BOYS” from “HOLD ME FAST” performed by Elaine Chapman

“When I saw him walking to the plate I felt sick. He stared at me, his eyes slits, and I could hear myself, throw it right, strike zone, a fast ball.

I wound up, kicked out my leg, threw my weight down, put everything I had in that ball, and when it left my fingers for a second it seemed like the ball had its own mind, then I knew I wanted it to happen. I meant it to happen.”

“WHAT YOU’RE GETTING INTO” from “HOLD ME FAST” performed by Clark Ford

“In the daytime, I only hear water splashing, but at night, it’s quieter and the air is thicker and it carries the voices. All night long it goes on. I hear what happened in town, the people talking. Sometimes the river has an old voice that got caught in there. Circling in a deep hole or tangled on a tree root and then it comes out and I hear it.

Last night I heard a girl crying because her boyfriend was going to Vietnam to the war. That was an old voice.

I try to sleep but the voices come into my dreams. I can’t stay asleep. I lost the secret of sleeping.”

“SECRET OF SLEEP” from “HOLD ME FAST” performed by Kenneth Macleod

“You guys know who I’m talking about? Mitch was kind of famous. He was from around here, that’s how I met him. I was in New York City at a party and it was a hot night and he heard me talking about swimming in Cat Lake. He walks over. I thought he was a cop, tall black guy with his hair cut tight, a little gray in it, sunglasses, with a bad hand he kept down at his side.

He asks me, what’s a country girl doing in the city? Starts naming places from around here. Lady Lake. Brady Quarry. The rope swing at True Park. I’m shocked. How does this guy know my childhood?

I tell him I’m going to secretarial school. He asks me why and I say, to better myself. He says, you get any better, men are going to drop dead around you. I was never gorgeous or anything. He was flirting.”

“BREAD OF HEAVEN” from “HOLD ME FAST” performed by Nicole Littrell

“Edna said this in my truck sitting between me and Sherry riding to the Western Auto store. She said, that’s the way the Lancasters are, the people on her dead husband’s side, and it ain’t it a shame, she said, her five daughters turned out pure Lancaster. Go to a diner with them and they stuff their pockets with sugar packets and spoons. They’ll take a dirty ashtray.”

“GOAT TOWN” from “HOLD ME FAST” performed by Dan Domench

“Then my mother walked in with Loreen and I hid the photos. They had been to a party and were feeling good. My mother was dressed in a powder blue suit and her hair was in place, but her mascara was streaked and her lipstick smeared at the edges. I could smell sweet drinks and Chinese food.

Loreen did what she always does, walked around with her hands in her leather jacket never taking her eyes off my mother.

My mother cooked herself a hot dog in the toaster oven and made instant coffee using hot water from the tap. Loreen opened a window, sat on the sill, and lit a cigarette. She offered one to Patricia.”

“FALCON” from “HOLD ME FAST” performed by Manann Mays

“I walked into a bar on the waterfront. Four people in the dark drinking. Everyone was quiet. Scared. I heard gun fire in the city. Beer out of the bottle wasn’t doing it for me, so I drank rum. I sat with a woman and drank with her. It was like we knew something terrible was going to happen to us and we sat there. Waiting for it.

Six soldiers came in. Young kids with World War One bolt action rifles. The woman said to me, revolution. The soldiers ordered me back to my ship. I stood up and one of them hit me in the face and I hit him back, floored him. The others circled me and beat me to the ground with rifle butts. The woman was screaming. They took me outside and tied my feet to the bumper of a truck.”

“CHARITY” from “HOLD ME FAST” performed by Richard M. Dostie

“The rumors started that spring. The birch and oak woods at the top of Tobacco Hill were in full leaf a month early. Between the woods and Harriet’s brick house the meadow was green with Virginia creeper. You could see that much from the road. What you couldn’t see was Shag’s bare back darkening in the sun as he kneeled and dug in the beds he built below the raised patio at the back of the mansion. You couldn’t see the French doors left open to the wind and Shag’s glances into the cool house.”

“WHITE GARDEN” from “HOLD ME FAST” performed by Ann Skinner

“You did some work for Sandy’s husband, and she talked to me about you, and to tell you the truth, I’ve been thinking about you for a long time. Sandy told me that you don’t drink at all, but you used to, and that you fixed her son’s motorcycle in about five minutes, that you knew all about bikes. Then I was ringing you up at the register and I saw your tattoos. The flowers and designs on the underside of your arms, and that little one, the bull’s-eye, red and black, and I knew what kind of guy you were, I mean, in a way. You must’ve known when you had it put there what people were going to think. A bull’s-eye right on your veins. And those jail tattoos. I don’t know if you were in jail or not, but that’s what we called them in high school, we called them jail tattoos. They did them right in class. They used sewing needles with thread wrapped around the tip and they dunked them in ink out of a ball-point pen. I was a cheerleader. I was too good to do it, but a lot of girls had hearts and boy’s names on their arms. I saw those tattoos on your arms and I figured that you were a certain kind of guy. I guess I mean a tough guy. You were nice, but I have to say, when I saw those tattoos I got a little chill. But Sandy said you played with her kids, and fixed her son’s bike, and wouldn’t even drink a beer, and I thought about it. Are you comfortable?”

“CALIBER OF FAITH” from “HOLD ME FAST” performed by Laurie Jones

Recorded at Limin Music in Northport, Maine. Engineering, Backgrounds, and Mix by Bruce Boege (bboege@liminmusic.com). Songs by Garrett Soucy. Music by Tree By Leaf: Garrett Soucy; Siiri Soucy; Cliff Young. (Treebyleaf.org). Songs and Music Produced by Dan Domench. Art Direction by Miroslaw Jurek (mirek1@verizon.net). Cover Photo: Hillary Steinau. All Other Photos by Jeff Dworksky. Web Design & Graphic Consultant: Greg Closter (screamingplanet.com).